Today, for the first time, I heard the phrase, “long-term marriage”. My heart sank deep into my chest.
As opposed to what? Short-term marriage?
Sadly though, this is a reality for almost 50 percent of couples who get married.
I can’t help but wonder:
How do two people get so far into troubles that divorce is their only way out?
How do you allow yourself to fall so out of love that you can’t even remember the reasons you first fell in?
How do purchases and spending take priority over time?
And, how does social media take over true communication and interaction ?
A “short-term marriage” shouldn’t even be an option.
So how do you beat the odds? How do you set yourself up for success in your marriage?
First, stop leaving an exit door open! If you constantly live with the idea that you can exit your communion any time, then you will.
Secondly, be very and open with finances. I know, I know, I know…finances are the most obtrusive part of a marriage. However, with clear expectations you can conquer this together. Be open with your spouse on purchases. If you can’t tell your spouse you bought it-then don’t buy it!
Set a budget together and stick with it. This will leave you both at ease…You know, to focus on the more enjoyable things. 😉
Next-grow together. Keep your spouse knowing where you are in life. Cut the guessing game.
Ladies, he is NOT always going to be able to “read your signals.” He isn’t going to know where you want to eat for dinner or what gift to buy you. Cut him a break. Stop leaving him guessing, and then blaming him because he doesn’t “get” you. Tell him what you want and need from him. It will save you both hours of aggregation and tears! You can help this along by trying new and exciting things together, which can include looking into how pheromones attraction oils can strengthen your connection to your spouse and get you feeling that warmth of love and attraction from each other.
Finally, your spouse comes second, only to God. No hobby, activity, job, and, dare I say, child should ever take their place.
If divorce has become apart of your vocabulary, remove it. Choose to see the good in your spouse. Look deep at their intentions and motives. Find the good-willed person you married. Close the exit door and lock it.
This week, I challenge my readers to create a list. List all the things you love about your spouse, and then give it to him/her.
Talk about the reasons you first fell in love, and why you choose to still love them.
Kristen Jeffries is from the small town of Huntington, WV. She has been married to her absolute best friend Aaron for seven years. They got engaged after three months of their first meeting, and married after six. They have two amazing toddlers, Hayden Elias (3) and Owen James (2), the joys of their hearts and complete miracles from God. She is the nursery director at her home church, Christ Temple Church. She is also a professional photographer and a college student majoring in Education. They live very busy lives and wouldn't change it for a moment! Follow her on Twitter at @knjeffries1.