Have you ever noticed that life has a way of wanting to drive a wedge into your most meaningful relationships? Before you know it, you have lost that connection. Meetings happen, work demands your attention, phone calls and emails have to be returned and errands have to be run.
A few months go by and one day you might notice signs wife is cheating, or your wife might say that she doesn’t feel like she knows who you are anymore.
This can be changed. This is not inevitable.
I get it. We all lead busy lives. When we get home we all like to kick back and relax. However, I don’t ever want my wife to feel like that I chose Netflix over her.
Our wives should be our best friends. I know mine is. I definitely want to keep it that way. To protect my marriage and cultivate the relationship that I have with my wife, there have to be some boundaries set that show my wife that I am serious about her. For instance, one of the most important ways to show is to be affectionate without being clingy. Portray your love but do not be clingy–do not be a kid who needs attention all the time. Give her some space if she wants. She has friends too, so let her mingle with them for recreational purposes. Allow her to have a small room for her meet-ups with her friends. Tell her, “you deserve your own she shed, let’s get one built”. Show that you care for her needs and her priorities. Be the man who does is not overly possessive and unnecessarily intruding. However, do not just stop at this. this–take her on vacations. Plan something in surprise and make her feel that the sparks of romance are still alive.
Recently, my wife and I took a mini-retreat together last week and I would not change that for anything. I loved every minute that I got to spend with her. We went into the North Georgia mountains and stayed at a conference center. We drove around exploring together and investigated some new restaurants that we would like to visit again. She made that trip special for me. If it had been just me, I would not have enjoyed it as much.
Fight for Your Wife
Fighting for your wife is intentional. Let me explain:
If you, as the man, do not fight for your wife, you will not have much of a marriage. Everything worth having is worth fighting for. The Bible says that he who finds a wife finds a good thing.
Your wife is a treasure. If you want to keep the treasure, you have to fight to protect the treasure.
Ways to Fight for Your Wife
Here are eight ways that you can fight for your wife:
Pray with her and for her.
Read the Bible with her.
Read books together.
Date her. Take her on dates as often as possible. You need that quality time together. Schedule a babysitter and make it happen.
Study her. A good wife is always growing and God is working in her to make her more like Christ. You need to talk to her and listen to her. You need to know what God is doing in and through her. You need to know what her new interests and concerns are. This will help you better pray for her.
Pursue Jesus. The best thing that you can possibly do for your wife is follow Jesus. When she knows that you are following Jesus, she will be more passionate about following you as you lead her.
Get away together. Plan an annual or biannual trip for just you and your wife. You both need this. Make it a time for rest, reconnecting and just being with each other. You both will grow to look forward to this cherished time together.
Encourage her. She needs to know that you want her. She needs you to lift her up and edify her. She has too many things and distractions that are trying to feed into her insecurities. She doesn’t need one more. She needs you to be the man that God created you to be and be that man for her.
While we are on the subject of fighting for your wife, kill your enemies. You know what they are. Pride, selfishness, fear, laziness, anger, just go ahead and put a Gospel bullet in them.
Sex is not your enemy. The perversion of it is. Sex with your wife is both beautiful and wonderful. God created it that way. You can thank him. Sex was his idea.
However, part of fighting for your wife means that you are guarding both your heart and your eyes. Your wife should be the only woman that you desire to see naked. As men, we do not need to see the breasts of another woman. We do not need that image in our minds. God did not give you your wife to compete with a girl on a screen.
God gave you your wife. She is a gift. Her eyes, her body, her lips, everything that you enjoy about your wife is God’s gift to you. She is yours. Treat her like the gift that she is.
I know that my wife is in my corner. She is my greatest encourager and I thank God that he gave me my wife.
Jimmy Proulx is pastor of FaithPoint Community Church. He planted FaithPoint in 2011 in Warner Robins, GA. He has been married for thirteen years to his wonderful wife, Kristi. They have two awesome boys, Bryson, 5, and Luke, 3. They live in Byron, GA. Jimmy loves books and coffee—not in any specific order! Follow him on Twitter at @jimmyproulx.