Angry Nursery Worker
Angry Nursery Worker is a fictional and very active character on Twitter. She sees the world through the lens of working in the church nursery and despises children. The only reason she ended up there is because she got tired of the kids in the row behind her in church constantly kicking her seat. Her motto is “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” (emphasis on “beat”). No one knows her exact age, but it can be assured that her parents subscribed to the Hebrew naming method of giving their child a name that reflected her personality. Therefore, Angry Nursery Worker speaks volumes of both her temperament and her early destiny being determined for a full-time, lifelong career in the nursery. Although no one is exactly sure of her age, Mrs. Angry claims to be around 112 years old, despite her elevated maturity level (sigh). She currently drives a 1986 Buick Skylark, lives alone (but not with cats—she despises them), and has a strange addiction to the “teething serum” that they use in the nursery to sooth the babies’ sore gums (don’t judge; she knows you are friends with Jack Daniels). Interacting with other Twitter users, both real and anonymous has led to some great conversations and striking revelations, especially about her marital history—let’s just say she’s had her share of husbands, but is not really good at keeping them around. There’s so much more to Angry Nursery Worker that she could literally write a book, but for now, she just enjoys telling tales of nursery experiences and labeling them with the hashtag #NurseryNightmares. Follow her on Twitter @NurseryAngry.