The Septuagint is a super-old, super-interesting, super-important Greek translation of the Hebrew Scriptures (what Christians call the Old Testament). It’s got all the elements of a great story including a fascinating origin legend, lost copies shrouded in the fog of history, and cryptic secrets with huge bearing on how the Bible should be read today.

That sounded like Peter Faulk trying to sell Fred Savage on listening to him read the Princess Bride, and I’m not ashamed of having typed it. It stays.