March 28

Too early in the morning for me

“Natalie?”

Who? What was happening?

“Kate?”

“Yes. It didn’t sound like you.”

It’s Saturday, Kate, it’s Saturday, early, 11:15 in the morning, I’m thinking to myself.

“Just a crazy week.” I’m hoping if I just don’t open my eyes, I can find my way back into sleep again.

“Are you okay? Just let me know if I can help in any way. The job’s a bit tough starting out, but then it gets a lot easier.”

“It’s pretty manageable right now.” Except for the fact that I don’t know how to type. No, I didn’t mention that to her. “Thanks for the advice. Anything I can do for you?”

Kate was the one who had called and as soon as she tell me what she wants, I’m going back to sleep. Yes, I have one thought on my mind. Sleep.

“Do you remember the concert tickets we had?

Which concert? I have a vague recollection of her saying something about a concert, but since it didn’t have “Foo Fighters” attached to it, it just didn’t register.

“Hmmm…”

“I asked Tav to join us.”

“What?” Now I’m sitting up in bed, horrified. Tav?

“I wasn’t sure how he felt about having his secretary in the group, but he’s fine with it. I’ll pick you up, okay?”

She what? Really, Kate, I thought we were friends. “But you never asked me if I was fine with it?” Okay, now that sounded rude and offensive.

There’s a silence. I’m not sure if I’ve made Kate mad. There goes my job.

“I’m sorry. It just never crossed my mind.”

“Maybe Faith or Jessica would love to take my place.”

Not offended or contrite, Kate is largely amused. “I’ll tell him that you’re not fine with it.”

Tell Tav? She must be joking. “No, it’s okay. I have to work for the man.”

I feel like I have been tricked by Kate, but, of course, she hasn’t done anything wrong. In fact, it was really nice of her to invite me. I should have been paying attention, but was obviously not. Again.

A concert with Tav? That almost sounds like a date.

I’m not sure how to deal with this.

Yes, I do. I’m going back to sleep.

4:45 p.m.

I couldn’t go back to sleep. So dragged my tired body by the water. The lagoon was beautiful with the sailboats and ducks. But all I kept thinking about was Tav. And the dumb concert. What was it? And what was I going to wear? I did a mental review of all my non-church office clothes. Not good enough. I rushed back to the house, to my room, and slid open the door to the closet.

Black.

Black leather.

Black lace.

Black short skirt.

Black thigh-high boots.

Where was my mother when I went clothes shopping? Didn’t she know I needed something other than black?

I am so Goth.

“Gwennnnnnn…” My plaintive wail brought my poor sister running to my room, clutching her heart.

Great. I nearly gave my sister a heart attack.

“I have nothing to wear to the concert…”

“What concert and when?”

Now I’m staring at her. For obvious reasons.

“Nat, when is the concert and who are you going to see?”

“Uhm…I have no idea.”

“You have no idea what concert and when and you’re…?”

When she puts it that way, it does sound pretty lame.

“It’s because it’s a group from church and Kate called and I want to make sure I don’t embarrass anyone.” Particularly myself.

“Nat, you’ll look great no matter what you wear. You can even wear sackcloth…but let’s go shopping and find something. It might help if you could call Kate and get more details from her.”

“Gwen, you’re the best.” My sister to the rescue. I love her. I shoved away the guilty thought that I haven’t mentioned that the panic was caused by a certain Associate Pastor called Tav. She will hound me for details and I just want to keep that part of my work life under wraps…for now.

That’s how I’m reasoning my guilty feelings away.