Christian Movies Suck!

david-goliathSo today I came across the Facebook page and trailer for a new Christian movie—David and Goliath.

It’s horrible.

Of course, the producers are bemoaning the fact that Hollywood rejected the movie because it contains too much God.



What a load of crap.

The trailer shows one of the worst movies EVER MADE.

Bad acting. Bad casting. Bad cinematography. Bad writing. Bad EVERYTHING! No wonder Hollywood doesn’t want to touch it.

I don’t want to touch it. I don’t want it to be remotely associated with my own faith.

Let’s be honest. All Christian movies suck.

Once upon a time people of faith put out quality material in the artistic world. Now we settle for cheap knock-offs…

Truly, I cringe every time I hear about a new Christian movie being produced. The faithful rally and proclaim, “Let’s show the world that we can make quality entertainment, too, but without all that nasty worldly stuff! Let’s go support this film!”

The problem is that we can’t make quality entertainment. Not really. We end up coming up with cheesy and trite art that doesn’t really MOVE anyone. Sure, the faithful will love it because they’re supposed to. There’s nothing else out there that presents our particular worldview, so it’s this bunk or nothing. Every time a new one comes out I hope and pray that it will be good. Not just a heartwarming, family-friendly film, but GOOD cinema. Hasn’t happened yet.

None of these would be what I would call compelling art. I wouldn’t call them art at all.

I don’t want to hear, “This is a great Christian movie.” That’s a backhanded compliment. Why can’t we simply make good movies?

I know, I know. It’s tough to be a Christian in a business like Hollywood. Even Kevin Sorbo complains about how being a Christian prevents him from getting roles. That’s funny, ‘cause I thought it was his acting that did that.

I long for the day when Christians can lead the forefront in the arts. We’ve become so focused on the content—making sure the message supports conservative Christian values—that we’ve lost sight of the artistry.

It wasn’t always this way. People of faith used to produce quality art. Whether it be C.S. Lewis’s The Chronicles of Narnia, J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings, or J.S. Bach’s Magnificat in D, we used to care about the quality of art.

Now we get bad movies and an endless supply of Amish romance novels.


Will someone please step up? Are there any artists out there who can say, “I’m a person of faith and I’m not going to settle for putting out crap”?

That’s the person I want to make the next Christian movie.

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