Christian Movies Suck!

david-goliathSo today I came across the Facebook page and trailer for a new Christian movie—David and Goliath.

It’s horrible.

Of course, the producers are bemoaning the fact that Hollywood rejected the movie because it contains too much God.

Phooey.

Hogwash.

What a load of crap.

The trailer shows one of the worst movies EVER MADE.

https://youtu.be/8-ddGmNwEdQ

Bad acting. Bad casting. Bad cinematography. Bad writing. Bad EVERYTHING! No wonder Hollywood doesn’t want to touch it.

I don’t want to touch it. I don’t want it to be remotely associated with my own faith.

Let’s be honest. All Christian movies suck.

Once upon a time people of faith put out quality material in the artistic world. Now we settle for cheap knock-offs…

Truly, I cringe every time I hear about a new Christian movie being produced. The faithful rally and proclaim, “Let’s show the world that we can make quality entertainment, too, but without all that nasty worldly stuff! Let’s go support this film!”

The problem is that we can’t make quality entertainment. Not really. We end up coming up with cheesy and trite art that doesn’t really MOVE anyone. Sure, the faithful will love it because they’re supposed to. There’s nothing else out there that presents our particular worldview, so it’s this bunk or nothing. Every time a new one comes out I hope and pray that it will be good. Not just a heartwarming, family-friendly film, but GOOD cinema. Hasn’t happened yet.

None of these would be what I would call compelling art. I wouldn’t call them art at all.

I don’t want to hear, “This is a great Christian movie.” That’s a backhanded compliment. Why can’t we simply make good movies?

I know, I know. It’s tough to be a Christian in a business like Hollywood. Even Kevin Sorbo complains about how being a Christian prevents him from getting roles. That’s funny, ‘cause I thought it was his acting that did that.

http://youtu.be/5F1VKNN3iGE

I long for the day when Christians can lead the forefront in the arts. We’ve become so focused on the content—making sure the message supports conservative Christian values—that we’ve lost sight of the artistry.

It wasn’t always this way. People of faith used to produce quality art. Whether it be C.S. Lewis’s The Chronicles of Narnia, J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings, or J.S. Bach’s Magnificat in D, we used to care about the quality of art.

Now we get bad movies and an endless supply of Amish romance novels.

Barf.

Will someone please step up? Are there any artists out there who can say, “I’m a person of faith and I’m not going to settle for putting out crap”?

That’s the person I want to make the next Christian movie.

Chaplain Chris Linzey
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    1. One critic wrote – “Risen” veers so far off the Bible’s path that it might as well be a tale of this 13th apostle, called Marty, who was in charge of snacks and mini-golf reservations. ?

  1. the problem is in the label. anyone that makes a ‘christian’ anything, will make substandard art. because that label is used already to separate it from other works. if it was a good movie it’d be called a movie, not a christian movie. it’s the label. because the ‘artist’ approaches the movie, book, song with thoughts of his pastor, church, convictions – he doesn’t let the art breathe. what needs to be remembered that Jesus said that the rocks and stones would cry out if we were silent. so we dont need to slather it with Jesus’ name. it will cry out of it no matter what because that is what’s in us when we create it. i could be wrong but i think if we were to talk to any of the artists you describe, lewis – bach – eliot etc they wouldn’t say they were christian writers, or artists. they are just artists and writers. but if G-d is in them then that is what will come out of them. a glass can only spill what it contains. also the problem we run into is the great desire to ‘be in the world but not of it’ so there is a detachment in the lyrics and writing. there lacks honesty there. i dont particularly like the movie Bruce Almighty at all…like at all, but one great thing about it was i remember a story of the director getting complaints that he ‘claims’ to be a christian, but his characters were ‘living in sin’ so how can he call himself a christian. and his reply hit the nail on the head “i’m a christian, but my characters werent.” – and that says it all. as a believer you are hamstrung by others expectations. they would complain if your characters swore or had sex without being married, upset with any violence. but thats real. thats real people. thats honest. to write it or sing it, doesnt mean you are condoning it or supporting it. youre just telling the story. the story should be the main focus. telling it correctly and honestly, not jeopardizing it for any reason, especially for the audience. i once entered a film into a ‘christian’ festival and they wouldnt show it because of its content and language. so i am passionate about this topic.

    i believer in a band is a lot more effective than a christian band. a believer that writes honestly is more effective than a christian writer. Jesus told stories. he didnt tell christian stories. i struggle with it a lot because my favorite band is mewithoutYou and everyone flocks to the lead singer as some sort of savior cause of his lyrics. they get pigeonholed as a christian band. but they arent. but as the lead singer, as a believer his beliefs will come out they have to. because they are in him and he’s singing with honesty. if he didnt the rocks and stones would sing it for him. if CS Lewis says something that points to G-d, it’s no different than if Hemingway or McCarthy or even Stephen King says it. it’s no more ‘true’ coming from a believer. all Truth is G-d’s and He uses is as He sees fit.

    so i agree with you. we shouldnt make christian movies, or music, or books. we should just make art. no agenda. no anything. just art for the sake of art. all Truth belong to G-d and if He wants people to hear it, we do not have the ability at all to deny it. if we jump off the boat we’ll get spit onto the shore either way. lets strip our art of our agenda and labels and just create.

  2. Preach it, brother. We also seem to be unable to let art speak for itself without having to add an obvious message so people are sure to “get it.” If the work is good, it doesn’t need a summary of the point. It’s not defending and promoting God to put out work that does not honor all that he is.

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