Have you ever thought of forgiveness as an act of worship? Jesus said, “When you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” (Mark 11:25).
Forgiveness is the choice not to hold things against another. It is absent when one holds things against another. This is what we call resentment, and it is a root cause of many personal and societal problems. It’s the tendency to bear grudges, and it often leads to revenge.
Holding Against
Many people go through life collecting grievances (perceived or real) and storing them in their memory bank—specifically, in what I call their grudge account. Rather than forgiving an offender, they choose to nurse their anger, lick their wounds, and stew in their grudge.
This way of life is rarely traveled alone because misery enjoys company. It validates our resentment when we find people to commiserate with us over our grievances, swapping grudge stories. Some throw pity parties to seek solidarity with others in their resentments.
Those who habitually collect perceived rather than actual grievances fall into a different category. These people behave in narcissistic, pathologically paranoid ways. They’re narcissistic because they believe others think about them more than they do, and they’re pathologically paranoid because they imagine others are continually against them. They are self-destructively self-absorbed and must come to even deeper levels of repentance by embracing Jesus’ call to self-denial.
“Forgive him?!” “Not after what he did to me!”
But Jesus’ words “Forgive him” are hard to hear when you’ve been badly hurt. I recall more than once people responding, “Forgive him?!” “Not after what he did to me!”
Does Jesus ask us to become morally neutral about others’ wrongful and damaging behavior? Is he asking us to pretend nothing happened and let our offender off the hook?
One thing is clear from Jesus’ words. Whatever else forgiveness involves, it’s the opposite of “holding something against” someone. Forgiveness requires an act of “letting go” or “releasing”—a refusal to “hold against.”
Empty Your Grudge Account
But this act of releasing is not a superficial or feigned erasure or ignoring of the wrong committed against us. Letting go of an offense does not require moral neutrality about right and wrong. We’re not required to let the offense slip into some imaginary zone of forgetfulness.
Forgiving is an act of worship that takes place in the presence of the God who is the righteous judge of all the earth. Forgiveness is an act of releasing the offense to God, who said, “Do not take revenge, …but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord” (Romans 12:19).
I am suggesting that forgiveness is first and foremost a matter between you and God, not between you and your offender.
When someone hurts us, we tend to see only the horizontal significance of what happened. “This is about me and the one who hurt me!” we insist. For those who worship God, however, life is primarily about God and secondarily about them. In the rest of Mark 11:25, Jesus reminded us that even our grievances must be addressed in relation to God: “…if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”
Do We Earn God’s Forgiveness?
When Jesus linked forgiving others to God forgiving our sins, was he suggesting a conditional or earned system of forgiveness? Is this a quid pro quo arrangement (favor for favor)?
No! Our forgiveness from God is based on God’s undeserved favor, received through Jesus Christ. It’s not that we earn God’s forgiveness by forgiving others, but that God expects his forgiven people to forgive. When forgiven people don’t forgive, God is not worshipped—he is dishonored (see Matthew 18:21-35).
This is where worship meets forgiveness. When we forgive, we “let go of” rather than “holding on to” or “holding against.”
Forgiveness is the act of releasing to God the hurtful actions and consequences of the wrong done to us. God has the sole prerogative of vengeance (Romans 12:19). If the one who hurts us is to be punished, it is God’s right to punish him. When sinned against, turn to God and worship him by acknowledging his authority as Judge. Acknowledge that any judgment against the one who wronged you is his right—not yours.
Forgiveness as worship is not surrendering or neutralizing our sense of morality and justice. This is not a cheap “letting off the hook” of the one who hurt us. It’s not a mental exercise in forgetting or a feigned effort to trivialize evil by saying, “O well, we’re all sinners.” It’s an act of worship before the final Judge.
On this view, forgiveness is not solely about me – what happened to me and who did it. It’s about God—who he is and his authority as Judge.
Worshipping God, Not Using Him
Forgiveness is an act of releasing to God what rightly belongs to Him. Since God is “the Judge of all the earth who will do what is right,” releasing to God places the offense in the purest context of judgment. Forgiving is releasing the grievance and the offender to God’s all-knowing perspective and to the perfect balance of justice and mercy. This honors God by placing matters into His hands and His timing.
But this approach to forgiveness must not be corrupted into a “God will get you” mentality. Worship is not an effort to use God; it’s an act of humbling yourself before Him.
When forgiveness becomes worship, the offended person humbles herself or himself before God, honoring and confessing Him as judge, trusting Him to uphold His judgment as He chooses and in His time.
Unexpected Blessing
In this act of “letting go” or “releasing to God,” the one who forgives is also released and empowered to live out the radical prescription of Romans 12:20-21: “On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. …. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Punishment of Wrongdoers
Please don’t leave this subject with the final words from Romans 12. The connection with Romans 13 is important in any discussion of forgiveness. According to Romans 13:1-4, sometimes God executes His wrath (compare 12:19) and punishment of wrongdoers through the agency of human government (see esp. Romans 13:4). This strengthens the point that forgiveness is not a matter of moral neutrality.
When the one who wrongs you receives punishment from a God-ordained authority, it’s right to support and honor the role of government in punishing wrongdoers (see: 1 Peter 2:13). We honor this role of authority for the glory of God and the good of society. Yet endorsement of just-punishment must never be sought as a means for vindictive and vengeful intention. If tempted toward this response, turn to God is worship based on Romans 12:18-21.
When we’ve been wronged, and the punishment of the wrongdoer becomes a matter for human government, we cannot sincerely support such punishment with the right spirit until we prayerfully apply the teaching of Romans 12:18-21.
An Invitation
This is an invitation for those who bear grudges (being wrongfully used or hurt) to worship God as the only rightful judge of evil. Turn your grudge over to the Judge! Recite his deep moral opposition to the evil committed against you and surrender every desire for revenge to his prerogative in punishing evil (Romans 12:19).
If God chooses to (or involves you in) mediating his judgment through ordained human authority, honor and support those authorities for fulfilling their divine role (see: Romans 13:1-4), but check your heart against seeking false and destructive satisfaction through personal revenge.
The connection between Romans 12 and 13 offers an important reminder that forgiveness does not require surrendering our sense of right and wrong.
We need God’s grace to apply these truths with sincerity and humility.
Prayer:
God, please help me to worship you when I’ve been hurt by others. You have forgiven my sin, and each day I remind myself that you have not dealt with me as my sins deserve. I release my grudge to the Judge and trust you with the outcome.
- Confusing Faith and Science - July 20, 2017
- Forgiveness Is An Act of Worship: Empty Your Grudge Account Today! - July 6, 2017
- Psychology, Big Business, and Theology - June 26, 2017
