Know Your Anon: Paarsonax

Some of my readers have asked me to explain my “shtick” for those who may not understand, and I decided to combine it with a testimony. So for a moment, I am going to step down from High Hrothgar, take off the dragon mask, and explain myself, and where I come from.

If you had known the me of ten years ago, you would know a different man. I loved to lust after women. I loved to curse and speak lewd things. I loved to blaspheme God. I thought religion in general was stupid, and Christianity especially. I didn’t want to be “saved” and I didn’t want to do anything on Sunday morning except sleep. This was my state from late high school to college and a little bit after college. At some point, in my early 20’s or so, I began to feel a strange calling that there might be a higher power at there. However, as so often happens with people, I wanted to do things my way, and I began to seek out spirituality under my terms. This took me through false religions and theologies (if you can believe it, Islam and Eastern Orthodoxy), and each time that I left one, I would try to steer my way down another path.

Eventually, God had His way, and finally I realized that I contributed nothing at all to my state, that I was truly a sinner before God, but (above all) I could find peace and security in the blood of Christ and the message of the cross. I do believe that God had a hand in my spiritual direction, not only to have confidence in my religion but confidence in my faith, but my point here is that, without God’s hand and his grace upon my soul, I would gladly follow after strange doctrines and be like so many who are deceived.

Am I still a sinner? Of course. I have no problem admitting that. I am not a “holy man” by any means. Mind you, I do not rejoice in my sin, but I will not deny that the dead flesh still rises up and the indwelling sin tempts and gnaws at my spirit daily. Yet, by God’s grace, I am being sanctified, and I have no doubt that Christ will see my salvation through, and I can rest on the fact that I am paid for by the blood of the Lamb. There is not a day that goes by when I do not think I have need Christ or his salvific work. There is not a day in which I am not thankful for the work and sacrifice Christ did on the cross. I have to preach the Gospel to myself daily, and I think I contributed nothing to my salvation but the sins which compelled my Savior to go to the cross. Let all glory and honor go to him, and none to me.

So with all that said…where did Paarsonax come from?

I have always been a big Elder Scrolls fan, ever since I played Morrowind to death in college—so, needless to say, I played Skyrim when it came out. One of my favorite characters in that game was Paarthurnax, a dragon who sits atop the Throat of the World and trains old monks known as Greybeards in the way of the thu’um, or dragon shouts. These dragon shouts are executed by speaking certain words in dovahzul, or the dragon languages. Paarthurnax is a bit of a sage character who begins a lot of his sentences with “Hmm…” and throws in random dovahzul phrases as he speaks.

One day, as I began to speak on the Word of Faith heresy with a friend, something hit me: the Word of Faith heresy and the concept behind the thu’um are very similar! Both believe you can utilize your voice to execute great power, and both depend upon the use of words to somehow change reality. As I began to think on it more, I got the idea of a “Christian” Paarthurnax, one who would in essence be a spoof of the Word of Faith doctrine. I came up with the name “Paarsonax” as a play on words of “Parson” and “Paarthurn,” and made my account. From there, I plagued the Twitterverse, humoring some who got the joke while annoying others who don’t like it when people speak a foreign language.

So, if my posts were not clear enough, know that most of my work and tweets are written in the spirit of satire. I do not actually believe what Paarsonax often preaches. What is humorous to me is that Hyper-Charismatics and Word of Faith believers have either followed me on Twitter or complimented what I have said, which gives me a hint that I’m being just subtle enough. At the same time, I make an effort not to be bitter or overly sarcastic to the point of being ungracious, but rather to commit paralepsis out the wazoo and try to make people think. Even in satire, God should be glorified and his truth preached.

I will end the post here, with three words that every Christian should live by: Soli Deo Gloria!

Theology Mix recommends reading The Dovah Dialogues.

What Bible Translation to Use
Admitting Fault
How to Defend Dovah Doctrine
“Your Sickness Thu’um”

Updated February 5, 2015

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