“I allowed 4 of my children to die through abortion, Sydna,” the caller outlined through tears. “I am a serial killer who deserves prison!”
When God makes the reality of abortion obvious to a post-abortive soul, many feel they deserve incarceration – even the death penalty. Sadly, the worst prisons can be in our own minds.
After abortion, self-condemnation and shame can mirror a solitary confinement existence. To open that internal prison door to receive God’s grace and mercy seems frightful and wrong, particularly after multiple abortions. Many simply believe forgiveness isn’t possible and live chained to their pain.
According to abortion provider statistics, as many as half of women entering abortion clinics have previously experienced abortion.(1) Abortion can become habitual in a woman’s life, much like any other sin.
When a life event hit the heart of this caller – the death of a beloved family member – her abortion grief was ignited for the first time. Up until that point, she was pro-choice and seemingly endured no obvious emotional regret.
Since this caller’s family member was now with her children in heaven, that meant her sins were revealed at last. That was the stimulus for God’s conviction. It is difficult to stop the flow of God’s conviction once it begins. Thankfully, God put me in her path. She attended an abortion recovery program that provided miraculous healing and restoration for her soul.
The first night of my own abortion recovery class featured my leader confessing to three abortions. I mentally rejected her, wondering how anyone could have done this three times. I then felt the strong conviction of God with a clear message, “If you can do this once, you can do it many times. Do not judge!”
Over the last 25 years of ministry, I’ve heard thousands of multiple abortion testimonies. Here are eight common scenarios:
Atonement Child – After abortion, many instantly realize they’ve lost someone special. They can then work to get pregnant again to “replace” that loss. If her support system is the same as before, the mother often faces disgust and a refusal of support. They can then be bullied and mocked until they end the subsequent pregnancy.
Abortion Ratification – Many become overtly pro-choice after abortion, working to convince themselves that they made a good choice. Until conviction arrives, they can abort again and again, growing colder with each procedure.
Fallout Behavior – Abortion often ignites promiscuity, drug, and alcohol abuse to offset regret. Should another pregnancy result, abortion will be their “go-to” option.
Partner Abuse – Abused women often have no choice in subsequent pregnancies. Abusers can beat them until they agree to abort. Not wanting their children to endure a life of abuse, these mothers falsely believe they are protecting their child from a violent upbringing by sending them back to heaven. Few understand that abortion is the ultimate form of child abuse.
Sexual Abuse – Pedophiles often monitor the cycles of their youthful victims. If they miss their period, an abortion clinic is the next stop. Many young women have no idea what is happening and are put to sleep again and again so these abusers can continue their cycle of sexual torment.
PTSD Impact – Many multiple post-abortive people have experienced numerous incidents of adverse childhood experiences. Repeated PTSD encounters can lead to a state of emotional callousness where even a late term abortion is no big deal. These are the women that taunt pro-lifers and sidewalk counselors in defending even late-term abortion at a vulgar level.
Family History – Unexpected pregnancy can be repeated over the generations of a family. Without God’s intervention, post-abortive parents push children and even grandchildren to abort by refusing to support an unexpected pregnancy.
Abortion Anesthesia – I was barely able to afford an abortion, let alone pay for anesthesia. So my abortion was a horrific experience of pain and suffering. My body and soul were broken as I departed that clinic. I vowed to never put myself in such a position again by becoming obsessive with contraceptive use. When women are put to sleep for their abortions, their trauma is minimized. These women are more likely to abort again.
There are thousands of other reasons for multiple abortion experiences. Thankfully, there is no sin that God cannot forgive! If you are in this spot of pain, Ramah International is here to help you discover God’s healing.
If you are angry with those who aborted more than once, Luke 6:36-38 outlines God’s perspective – Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful. “Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.”