“I should have a sleeping babe in my arms, Sydna, enjoying his first Christmas,” a recently post-abortive women shared. “Abortion is a horrible thing. Will the holiday season always be a painful reminder of my loss?”
Immediately after abortion, many post-abortive people enjoy a period of relief. The anxiety of an unexpected pregnancy has been resolved, if only for a while. Individuals often work to forget this choice and go on with their lives. Sadly, many find that the emotional and spiritual pain of abortion can peak with every holiday season.
I remember vividly the Christmas after my abortion. I came home from school just three months later, hoping to find peace. My father and mother had no clue I had made this choice.
During that holiday, it was essential while I was home that I kept upbeat to keep my secret. The plastic smile I plastered on my face was quite debilitating. I vowed to never celebrate Christmas again!
Seven years later, Christmas took on a new meaning. My husband and I were enjoying our newborn son and celebrating Christmas will full hearts. I awoke to the sound of a baby crying. As I rose to tend to my infant, I realized my son was fast asleep in his bassinet beside my bed.
Then I heard the child’s cry again. Curious, I got up to search out the sobbing sound. As I walked through my house, I passed our Christmas tree. Suddenly, a horrible realization crept down my spine. There was one child missing from our house—the one I had aborted as a teenager. Terrified of the realization, I attempted and failed to put that thought out of my mind.
I quickly thought my lost child was crying out to me! My pace quickened until I reached the sound’s source—the base of my son’s baby monitor. Then I heard the sound of the child’s mother coming to provide comfort. I realized our unit had simply picked up the transmission of another child’s monitor in the neighborhood.
Sobs overwhelmed me then as I allowed my heart to realize my child’s death for the first time. He wasn’t on this earth to enjoy our family’s Christmas. The sound of another child’s crying triggered that understanding and began my journey to discovering God’s amazing healing after abortion.
Every holiday season is filled with reminiscences of celebrations with family and friends, many of whom have gone ahead of us to heaven. Christmas celebrates God sending his own Son to earth through a teenage unwed mother. That story, in itself, can trigger unresolved abortion pain. Matthew 1:18-20 outlines that amazing story:
Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: After His mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Spirit. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not wanting to make her a public example, was minded to put her away secretly. But while he thought about these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. And she will bring forth a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.”
If the story of Christ’s birth triggers pain, here are 4 ways to cope with holiday grief after abortion:
Embrace God’s Revelations – Grieving a child lost to abortion typically does not lead to a mental breakdown. Instead, the tears can begin God’s cleansing process, starting the process of settling his peace in your heart.
Develop Tangible Reminders – One woman shared, “Last year I bought a beautiful crystal ornament as a memorial to my child. This year it doesn’t hurt me to look at it. In fact, it is a real comfort!”
Participate in Community Christmas Events – Buying a loving gift for an orphaned child each year is a wonderful way to bring contentment. There are many Godly efforts helping children that are worthy of your investment that will help offset grief.
Resolve to Embrace God’s Healing – If heartache surrounding a past abortion continues to resurrect the Christmas blues, it’s time to embrace an abortion recovery program offered through our nation’s amazing pregnancy centers.
God’s healing after abortion is available to everyone. The Holy Spirit often uses reminders to help us begin to understand the emotional and spiritual pain and find His peace. Luke 2:14 outlines that God restores peace, no matter what sin has been committed – “Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!”